The Defective Insurance Corporation of America is a subsidiary of PsychotiCorp. So you can be absolutely certain that we will treat you with the same discourtesy and disrespect we give to anyone else. These Special Deals & Schemes Are Only Available Here! Well, they are available elsewhere but it just sounds better when you say it's only available here. It makes it sound like we are much better than we really are. It's the old "Bait and Switch." Scroll down to read more about our company.
You Know, Our Company Is Not Run By Just Any Old Clowns, We Use Evil Clowns
A Little Bit Of Information About Our Wonderful Company From Our CEO, Anabella Scabolini 
"Incompetence is the key to our own special blend of inefficiency, confusion and chaos" states CEO Anabella Scabolini. "But incompetence has to begin, remain and be centered around the very top, in order to have the greatest impact.", she adds.  "Take our IT department as an example.  Headed up by Ron Silliams. This guy is an idiot! But what makes him most dangerous is his complete refusal to acknowledge the sheer magnitude of his own idiocy.  This is important." 

Anabella takes a sip of her Old Milwaukee and continues: "This guy hand picks the morons directly below him.  That's an important component as well.  What good does it do if only the man at the helm is a moron?  You need a staff of subordinate morons to agree with and implement his ridiculous policies.  But that's the basic management structure we use here at Defective Insurance." 

She takes another sip of her Old Milwaukee, belches, breaks wind and continues "You see, we do have some competent and intelligent people working within our organization. Which makes it all the more important that the people on the top are such morons.  Now, I'm not saying that everyone in management is a moron.  There are some intelligent people who occasionally fall through the cracks.  That can't be helped.  But as soon as we discover their general lack of moronic tendencies, they are out of here!"  

Anabella pauses to open a can of Meister Brau, takes a sip, belches, breaks wind, coughs, spits and continues: "The beauty of the business that we are in is this: Insurance is a scam!  It's the biggest scam going.  Second only to the sale of swampland in Florida.  Coincidentally, we also sell swampland in Jersey as a side venture.  But as far as insurance is concerned, all we have to do is tell people that we are going to be there for them in their time of need.  Then when misfortune occurs, we abandon them.  They really think that we actually care, ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! What a riot!  Oh, this is off the record, right?" 

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