The Defective Insurance Corporation of America is a subsidiary
of PsychotiCorp. So you can be absolutely certain that we will
treat you with the same discourtesy and disrespect we give to
anyone else. These Special Deals & Schemes Are Only Available
Here! Well, they are available elsewhere but it just sounds
better when you say it's only available here. It makes it sound
like we are much better than we really are. It's the old "Bait
and Switch." Scroll down to read more about our company.
You Know, Our Company Is Not Run By Just Any Old Clowns, We Use
A Little Bit Of Information About Our Wonderful Company From Our
CEO, Anabella Scabolini
"Incompetence is the key to our own
special blend of inefficiency, confusion and chaos" states CEO
Anabella Scabolini. "But incompetence has to begin, remain and
be centered around the very top, in order to have the greatest
impact.", she adds. "Take our IT department as an example.
Headed up by Ron Silliams. This guy is an idiot! But what makes
him most dangerous is his complete refusal to acknowledge the
sheer magnitude of his own idiocy. This is important."
Anabella takes a sip of her Old Milwaukee and continues:
"This guy hand picks the morons directly below him. That's an
important component as well. What good does it do if only the
man at the helm is a moron? You need a staff of subordinate
morons to agree with and implement his ridiculous policies. But
that's the basic management structure we use here at Defective
another sip of her Old Milwaukee, belches, breaks wind and
continues "You see, we do have some competent and intelligent
people working within our organization. Which makes it all the
more important that the people on the top are such morons. Now,
I'm not saying that everyone in management is a moron. There
are some intelligent people who occasionally fall through the
cracks. That can't be helped. But as soon as we discover their
general lack of moronic tendencies, they are out of here!"
Anabella pauses to open a can of Meister Brau, takes a sip,
belches, breaks wind, coughs, spits and continues: "The beauty
of the business that we are in is this: Insurance is a scam!
It's the biggest scam going. Second only to the sale of
swampland in Florida. Coincidentally, we also sell swampland in
Jersey as a side venture. But as far as insurance is concerned,
all we have to do is tell people that we are going to be there
for them in their time of need. Then when misfortune occurs, we
abandon them. They really think that we actually care, ha ha ha
ha ha ha ha! What a riot! Oh, this is off the record, right?"