Featuring Monster Worm:

 

The Worlds First Penis Enlargement Patch That Guarantees Instant Results
Is your trouser trout more like the size of a guppy?  No problem, we here at Monster Worm can help.  We have developed a patch that can make your penis grow within five minutes of being applied.  I know, you've seen the ads on the Internet and have been hit with countless e-mails and spam regarding the same subject, making the same promises.  But now you can finally breathe a sigh of relief because we have the genuine article.  No gimmicks whatsoever.  Just apply the patch and your penis will grow one inch every half hour.  That's right an inch a half hour.  So order yourself the patch now!

Warning: Application of this patch for more than 3 hours can cause your penis to grow to an extraordinary length and thickness, since the rate of growth increases significantly with each passing hour.  For more information regarding this phenomenon, read the story below.

The Story of Rip Van Weiner and his over usage of the Monster Worm Penis Enlargement Patch:
Once upon a time, there was a man named Rip Van Weiner who had a very tiny penis.  Almost microscopic.  In fact, he had to squat to pee.  One day, he decided to give the Monster Worm Penis Enlargement Patch a Try.  So he bought it on the Internet because everything you buy on the Internet is so reliable and all the ads and stories that you see on the Internet are always true.  Within a few days, he received his very discreetly packaged box (to avoid embarrassment and ridicule) containing the product.  He immediately applied the patch to his arm but fell asleep while watching Moby Dick.  He slept for over twelve hours.  When he awoke, his penis was approximately 30 feet in length.  Horrified, he didn't know what to do.  He discovered that he could not consume enough food to maintain a healthy body weight because the penis was taking up all of his body's nutrients.  When aroused, his penis would demand so much blood that the remaining portion of his body would go completely limp, rendering him paralyzed until the arousal would pass.  He could no longer go to public places because he would always accidentally slam it in the car door, trip over it or have it stepped on by pedestrians and passers by.  He was forced to live a life of seclusion and loneliness until the day that he died.  So Please pay attention to the instructions on the package of this product.

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